This post is aimed at helping you through struggles. Not of the external variety such as financial stress or interpersonal problems, but targeting those struggles that reside within our own minds. This is about the way that we see and interpret the events that are happening around us. The manifestations of these struggles may be as mild as being in a bad mood or a bit grumpy for a small spell all the way to a full-blown depression that lasts for months on end. While these endpoints are quite different, the same process underlies both results.
On a surface level, you are likely familiar with what this discusses. People may have told you to “search for the silver lining”. Others may have attempted to encourage you by saying that “things are not as bad as they may seem.” Heck, even Monty Python told you to “Always look on the bright side of life.” While well intended and on the right track, these suggestions and advice have likely been ineffective in pulling you out of the negative that clouds your thinking when you are feeling down. Why is this?
Basically, this is prescribing the very thing that is most out of reach to you at that moment. It’s like telling someone who is lost in the desert and dying of thirst to “just drink some water.” When this suggestion is presented without appreciating the difficulty it entails, we are likely to reject it out of hand. This is quite unfortunate, because the wisdom behind the suggestion being offered actually has some value in terms of the behavioral health benefits. I will attempt to dig beneath the surface of what is being said when someone offers this type of advice and transform it from quickly discarded tropes to something that may be meaningful and helpful.